Looking for someone to love? Be the love you seek.

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In this request for a Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

  • Will a love relationship form in my life in the near future? I’ve been struggling with dating guys and falling for the wrong one fast.
  • Why do I get so emotionally connected quickly? I’m young, and I like to have fun, but my love life is in a famine.
  • Will I be partnered up soon or stay single for a while longer?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: Being with a partner is the opportunity to get to know yourself. It is irrelevant whether you are “partnered up” or not – for we are always, ultimately, simply seeing and knowing ourselves through the reflection of the other people in our lives. That is why the nature of relationships is so transitory – and why we suffer so much in the thrall of trying to maintain, mend, or establish relationships. Because we are busy doing so with an attachment to the result: We are attached to getting something, going somewhere, becoming something more – by means of the relationship.

Sometimes we deceive ourselves, believing that the love we feel in our relationship is “all about the other person” — because the other person is this way, or that way — we can love them. This is an illusion. Love is not about the other person. Being “in love” means that we are in love with the reflection of ourselves within the other person. Try entering into a new relationship without any attachments.

Try simply being present with the other person, recognizing that the other person is always and in every way reflecting back some aspect of yourself. If it is “love” you are seeking, then be “love” for yourself. Be totally in love with yourself! This is the secret to a happy, fulfilling relationship – to be fully satisfied and full within oneself first. It is a certain set-up for future suffering and disappointment to go “looking for love” with and through another person.

All the love we seek lies inside of us, eternally, in each and every moment! There is no seeking, only seeing this to be always the case. Sometimes we discover aspects of ourselves that we don’t find lovable. We’re not proud of these parts of ourselves; we hide from them, and we hide them from other people.

This is where honesty and courage find a home in our hearts – when we discover that we truly want to love all of ourselves, and we find ourselves ready to face those shadow parts, those dragons, those skeletons in the closet. Sometimes those are the things we “fall for” in other people, because what we truly want is to encounter and embrace those parts of ourselves! Thus, we discover the magic, the beauty, and the timeless, irresistible quality of falling in love with another person.

We realize that we love another so that we can learn to love ourselves, to see ourselves, to let ourselves be seen, be held, be loved. There is always something valuable to learn from being “emotionally connected”…. This is our natural, wonderful birthright! Simply recognize your connectedness to be a sacred, holy vessel through which you can connect more deeply and more truly with yourself.

Whether you are falling in or out of love, there are always gifts to be opened, treasured, and stored in our memories. There truly is no loss in love, only the opportunity to love again, more deeply, more fully, with less and less attachment to any desired outcomes. There is no love life to be had “out there”…. There is simply always love – perfect and whole – within yourself, to be reflected and expressed through your relationship with another person.

Let go of your anxiety and attempts to “find” this person, and instead, be the love that you seek, let this love be expressed authentically; and the other person will most certainly show up in your life, simply by virtue of the supernatural force of your own heart bursting forth with love.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Meditate to refresh, renew and rejuvenate

 

meditation-beach-night-water

In this request for a Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

How can I motivate myself, find happiness internally, when a part of my mind and soul are shattered from post traumatic stress disorder?

How can I stop treating people horribly, especially the ones I love, when all I ever do lately is see their and my own flaws and lose my temper in a millisecond? I never used to be so bitter and mean!

What are some things I can start doing for myself and/or for those around me to help lift the mood, recognize my own beauty and stop taking my past pain out on others?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

Exhaustion seems to be the primary issue that emerges from your years of past mental health struggles. It is important to rest and renew yourself as much as possible and to sleep long hours, even if this means foregoing other activities.

Rest and rejuvenation are your top priorities at this time. You may need to ask a family member to support you, as you may benefit from time off work. Your irritability is a symptom of mental and emotional exhaustion. Pick a day, clear your schedule, and sleep as much as possible. Sleep through the entire day if you can. Use ear plugs and curtains to block out sound and light from entering your bedroom. Ask a friend or family member to prepare meals for you on this day so that you can stay in bed and rest as much as possible.

A kidney/adrenal gland cleanse will help you release built up toxins from years of prescription meds. Consider juice fasts and/or herbal remedies and teas that support kidney/adrenal health. Ask at your local health food store about this. Avoid sugar, fried food, strong spices, and alcohol.

Consider a new circle of friends for socializing. The social circle that feels most comfortable and familiar to you may be perpetuating and reinforcing several of your self-destructive tendencies and habits – negative thought forms being most primary. Surround yourself with people who help you stay focused on positive thoughts.

To release yourself from the pain of the past, you must refresh and renew your present perspective. The past is over, and you do not need to identify with it. A sprout grows into a tree because it doesn’t stay stuck in its seed form, nor does the tree identify with being a seed. It is simply what it is, and the seed was at one time a natural and necessary part of its evolution into a tree. Your past has helped you grow into who you are. With a simple shift in perspective, you can recognize how your past has empowered you to be who you are in the present. Seen from this perspective, there are no mistakes, just perfect growth opportunities.

Anger is a reaction to beliefs, concepts, and points of view. When you feel anger, allow yourself to feel it while at the same time asking yourself, “Who is feeling angry?” Examine yourself. Ask, “What am I believing? What concept(s) am I buying into? What point of view am I identifying with?” Watch the anger fall away as you examine your motivation. Liberate yourself from the struggle by examining what motivates the anger in the first place, and then recognize that it is not you, just a temporary phenomenon that is moving through you, and you are moved by it. Instead of reacting, you become the ever-present observer. You love yourself so much that you gaze deeply inside your own heart and fully feel what is to be felt without possessing it or manipulating it. Negativity falls away and you are left with truth, authenticity, peace, happiness.

Meditate. A lot. In your solitude, discipline your mind to focus on the flow of your breath, self-empowering, loving thoughts, and do not indulge in self-deprecation. Toss out any violent or frightening movies from your collection. Read spiritually themed books that inspire and motivate you toward positive thoughts and behaviors.

Consider a make-over or remodeling of your living space, specifically, your bedroom. Clear out unnecessary or unwanted clutter – this includes old collections that you’ve held onto for posterity – and lighten up the mood with brighter colors and improved lighting. If you can expose yourself to more sunlight, this will greatly benefit you.

Fast from listening to and watching news for days at a time. Tune into your inward voice instead. Listen to relaxing and uplifting music instead of watching TV or movies. Meditate daily. Find a meditation teacher if you haven’t already. Meditate before going to sleep at night. Release your mind from any patterns of negative thought and re-pattern your neural pathways toward an enlightened consciousness. With awareness and focus, you can do this. Practice daily, especially right before you go to sleep. Practice observing your breath – the inflow and the outflow. You will gain patience and concentration.

Rest, rejuvenate, and refresh your perspective. Watch your world change.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Forgiveness and generosity lead to financial freedom

  couple

Starting again after years of financial strain, healing can be possible through forgiveness and generosity. E— writes, I wish to know when our financial strain will end.  We have been struggling for 15 years.  My husband was unable to work due to a curse placed on him by a former co-worker.  We believe he’s healed and we are starting again.

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: You should immediately begin planning for early retirement and relocation to a foreign country where the cost of living is much lower. Your overhead is currently too costly and this will continue to put unnecessary strain on your finances. There is an easier, less stressful option for you and your partner at this time.

Look into foreign investments and limit the support you give to family. Take care of yourselves now so that you can enjoy your retirement together without the stress that you’ve been under for these past years. 

What you think was a “curse” is actually a “karmic rebalancing” from a past life where your husband grievously harmed this individual in such a way that he was left destitute and homeless. In this life, your husband has had to “repay that debt” by experiencing his own financial hardship as a result of the influence of this individual. It is important for your husband to actively seek the forgiveness of this person, to make amends, and to forgive him for any wrongdoing.

To harbor resentment or to hold a grudge will only perpetuate your husband’s suffering in the future. It is better to put an immediate end to this negativity through an act of forgiveness. Start by writing an email, then try to met in person with the intention to make amends and move on with your lives. Everyone will feel much better after this is done.

Your husband might consider donating a portion of his current earnings to a chosen charity with the intention to clear the karmic debt that caused his past financial problems. (Note: I am NOT suggesting that you make any donation to me, as this would clearly be a conflict of interest!)…. When you are ready to make your donation, say a prayer (out loud) or write down a prayer on paper that this offering will serve as redemption for any past wrongdoings. Continue to make these donations regularly (monthly or bi-monthly), in combination with your prayer, until you see noticeable improvements in your financial situation (and you will soon, through your generosity).

Be sure not to let yourself get lonely. Now that your husband is busy with work, you find yourself alone a lot and wishing you had more company. Seek the company of friends and family. Join an activity group or social club in your area. Keep yourself occupied and out of negative habits that could affect your ability to make healthy, wise decisions. Now that you have more financial resources available, you must be careful to use them wisely, not spend extravagantly, and invest properly.

Avoid hasty, impulse spending. Instead, take time to research whatever you are thinking about buying before you buy it. Remember that you have a lot of choices and you don’t have to settle for the first thing that comes your way. You don’t have to be in a rush to spend your money.

A family member (close relative) will be asking you and your husband for money. Avoid giving too much. Explain to this person that you and your husband are now planning for retirement and must focus primarily on this. Encourage this person to be more financially independent. By being a good example of wise financial planning, you will help this family member more than if you just handed over your money.

Tend to your health and future happiness. The stress of these past years has taken undue toll on you. Take exercise classes and learn to meditate. Listen to relaxing music while you soak in a bathtub of hot water. The key is to relax as much as you can in the best way you know how. This will become more important in the coming years, since you will need to support your husband in learning how to relax and unwind too. Be an example for him. It won’t help to have two stressed-out people approaching retirement. You will have to lead the charge on a restful, happy retirement together.

Do not delay in looking into investments in a foreign country of your choice. Talk it over with your husband and take a trip at your next available opportunity. You won’t regret it.

Now is the time to do it: You must invest in your future health, well-being, and happiness together. Forgiveness is paramount now. Forgiveness will unlock the door that has blocked your financial freedom.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Personal health and wellness

opening_the_heart_chakra_by_jslattumd2o1x8d

Seeking guidance about finding my life partner, how to do my spiritual practice, forgiveness, love, and finding a job: V— writes,

  • Why so far have I not been lucky in finding a life partner?
  • Spiritually I am growing all the time but I cannot find it in myself to meditate. Is there a block?
  • All I want to do is meet my life partner in this life and dedicate my life to helping people in whatever form. That’s when I’m at my happiest. I am tired of the corporate life. Am I being wrong in wanting this?
  • I keep getting signs of me needing to open my Heart Chakra, giving and receiving love, forgive…etc. I have been doing as much as I can. What is the best way to do this? Thank you for this opportunity for help. It’s much appreciated.
  • Right now I am jobless. I need a job because I don’t have money right now. Why is it not happening for me? I have 20 years work experience and skills. I have re-located to another city to take care of my Mom who is recovering from surgery. I am finding it difficult to get a job. What do I need to do to change this?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

In a previous life, your partner brutally murdered you by piercing you in the chest with a knife out of revenge and anger. You can release the karmic effects of this trauma by praying and asking God to cleanse and heal these wounds to your subtle emotional body.

This residual trauma has prevented you in this life from being able to receive love when offered to you by a potential partner, for in the past, this brought you to your death. The best way to cleanse away this negative energy is to participate in a ceremony involving fire, whether in the form of a bonfire (with a pile of old shoes?), a sweat lodge, or a small outdoor fire.

A healthy partnership can only come when one can authentically maintain wellness for oneself, independent of the other partner.

Do you honestly feel that you are keeping yourself well, physically and mentally, in your daily life? Is there a substance or a habit that has become addictive and harmful to your health? Are you prepared to address this and make necessary changes so that you can be healthy? Addictions act as a constant distraction from our equanimity and inner peace.

You want to “help others” …. Be sure to help yourself first and feel honestly that you are on the path to getting healthy and free of harmful addiction.

Details about your work situation and finding a job are not relevant to this reading at this time, as your personal health and wellness are of critical importance. Once you address this, then your external circumstances (including your job) will naturally unfold from there.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Journaling: A daily practice for self-awareness, health and wellness

This week I have become increasingly aware of ways that I can continue to release negativity from my thoughts, my home, and my relationship with my partner.

I cleaned up my altar space and rearranged the sacred objects. Almost instantly I noticed positive changes in my life.

I would like to share the journal process I use to reinforce positive, life-affirming truths and accomplish important goals. The STAR (Self-Administered Tool for Awareness and Relaxation) is a multidimensional model for spiritual growth and awakening based on the concept that “I create my own reality: Everything I experience originates from my own mind.”

Affirmations for this week from my STAR journal:

  • I practice radical self-responsibility.
  • I enjoy my husband’s company.
  • I publish blogs to share and help others.
  • I maintain a clean, sacred altar space.
  • My vow of silence creates peace around me.
  • I take walks to the park to appreciate nature.
  • The people I see around me are happy.

I identified realistic, short-term goals related to these affirmations. Here are some of the goals I accomplished this week:

  • Took a 45-minute walk every day to the park.
  • Reorganized my altar space and cleaned off sacred objects.
  • Contacted magazine editors about publishing my articles.

I made prayer cards based on these affirmations to focus my daily prayer on what is most important to me for my loved ones, the earth, and myself at this time.

Thank you for witnessing my STAR journal process. If you would like to learn how to use the STAR, please follow this blog for regular updates.

Why would anyone take a vow of silence for one year?

I have taken a one-year vow of silence, meaning that I will not speak with anyone … for an entire year. I know, you’re asking, Why would anyone want to do something like that? Good question.

I have been preparing for this since 2008 by practicing with month-long vows of silence every few months.

Inspired by Baba Hari Dass and other masterful teachers, I have made this commitment because I believe that if I want to see peace in the outer world, I must cultivate peace within myself first.

Many of my friends and family members find it difficult to understand why I choose this practice. One can imagine the many benefits. But only by committing myself to the practice can I learn, grow, and realize these benefits for myself and the people around me. I have to try….

How to transform stress into relaxation

The STAR is an effective, 10-minute process that transforms job-related stress into relaxation, right there in your home or workplace. Stress can turn an otherwise productive day into a long, drawn out nightmare. We’ve all had days like that. The STAR—the Self-Administered Tool for Awareness and Relaxation—is your solution. With the STAR, you can reduce and even eliminate stress and enjoy a full, productive workday: You can be calm and stress-free.

After many years of working in a variety of high-stress jobs, I discovered that there are 3 keys to eliminating stress: Awareness, Attention, and Affirmation. In this introductory program, you will learn how to use the STAR in 10 minutes or less.

How does the STAR work? The STAR is a stress management tool that integrates physical movement, brain-body research, therapeutic touch, and positive affirmations. In this program, you will learn how to use the STAR to increase your awareness of the physical, mental, emotional, and physiological effects of stress. You will experience the connection between your body, mind, breath, and emotions. Using a simple process, you can reduce and eliminate stress.

Transform your work-life into a joyful, fulfilling experience. Let the STAR work for you.

Manage chronic stress before a health crisis emerges.

There are two kinds of stress: healthy stress and unhealthy stress. An example of healthy stress is when the boss gives you a challenging job with a deadline, and you are motivated to get it done. A certain amount of stress can be helpful, but if untreated, stress can be unhealthy.

Unhealthy stress is the chronic kind. Chronic stress causes the continual release of chemicals into the bloodstream over time, leading to chronic illness. In fact, studies show that 90% of all illnesses are caused by stress.

The STAR helps you manage chronic stress so that you can avoid illness and be more productive in your job. Stay tuned for further tips on how to use the STAR.